The Golden Gunner (transcript)

Doolittle: Come on now, a little muck never slowed you down before… Got a hold of something big… whuh?

Dockworker: Kats alive, that’s an old Mega War II fighter gunner in a plane!

Doolittle: Not just any of a weapon, sonny, it belonged to the greatest gunner who ever lived.

Dockworker: Wow! A real war hero!

Doolittle:He was no hero, sonny. He was the most evil kat who ever quicks on a draw and took to the air: The Blue Missile.

SCENE END

Ann: Yes, according to Megawar II veteran Abner Doolittle, this is believed to be the weapons system operator in a plane flown by the infamous Blue Missile. It was Abner’s crane that dragged the plane from its watery resting place where it has remained since being shot down in one of the greatest missile battles of the war.

Doolittle: Yep, saw it with my own two eyes.

SCENE END

David Litterbin (on TV): It's true. The Blue Missile was no longer a hero. He's bad and he's the bestest gunner in a plane in Megakat City. But most of all, The Red Missile

Jake: ( laughs ) Aww, I love this star of a show, David Litterbin! (giggles)

Chance: Will you stop laughing long enough to spot me?

Jake: Mmm hmm, Look! There's a special guest star anyway!

Doolittle: ( on TV ) Yep, the The Red Missile, and his archenemy the Blue Missile were going at it tooth and nail, ‘til there was only one left hole in one shot

Jake: Hey, they’re talking about the Blue Missile. ( leaves Chance unspotted at bench press )

Doolittle: ( on TV ) Yep, the Blue Missile was the greatest gunner in Mega War II.

David Litterbin: Yes, indeed.

Jake: (chuckles), Looks like he was on the wrong side. (holds a small picture of Mr. Robert Clawson) This is my father who wants to be the Red Missile, his great grandfather.

Chance: Jake! ( straining ) Ow!

Ann: ( on TV ) So, this weapon antique will be moved to Megakat City Museum of History for further study and display.

Jake: That’s the Blue Missile’s plane! Maybe we can go see it, buddy! ( gasp )

Chance: ( choking on bench press )

Jake: (giggles) What’s the matter, Chance? Can't feel so proud to ask for help? You look scared today. (wink)

Chance: ( cough ) It also will be some of a few more seconds, Even if I might’ve been as extinct as the Blue Missile.

Jake: I can’t believe that I am going to get a chance to see the Blue Missile’s plane. ( puts in a tape into the VCR )

Narrator: So, come share with us the greatest missile race of Mega War II

Chance: No, Jake, not that one again. I thought you’ve seen this tape at least 100 times.

Narrator: There’s the Red Missile, and there’s his enemy, the Blue Missile.

Jake: Don't be silly, Chance! Relax! You fooled them every time.

Chance: Jake, Won't you forgetting that the Blue Missile was the most evil gunner in history of the universe?

Jake: Yeah, he was a bad guy, and he was also the baddest gunner around. Well, next to the Red Missile anyway. He was my great grandfather.

Chance: And the only problem. Mr. Robert Clawson is your father now.

SCENE END

Barry: You know, Dr. Sinian, for a 50 year old airplane she’s in pretty good shape.

Dr. Sinian: Yes, the cold waters of Megakat Bay must’ve preserved it. Goodnight Barry.

Barry: Good night Dr. Sinian. ( hearing noise back in the exhibit ) What the–? ( gasp )

Blue Missile: ( laughter )

Barry: Holy Kats!

Blue Missile: Time to settle an old score. ( laughter as he flies into the sky ) The Red Missile! My mortal enemy! ( shoots a Missile billboard ).

SCENE END

Callie: “And, if re-elected, I mayor Manx promise to dedicated myself to serving Megakat City.” ( yawns, reading speech out loud ) I wish he’d dedicate himself to writing his own speeches. “You see, there’s a long tradition of bravery and courage in the Missile family, which is why I’m proud to christen this new jet the Red Missile, in honor of his great grandfather…” ( gasps and ducks as Blue Missile opens fire on the Mayor’s office )

Blue Missile: End of the line, Manx! And now, for the coup de gras!

Callie: Looks like he’s gone.

Blue Missile: That’s not Manx, and it’s Manx that I want!

Callie: That looked like the Blue Missile’s biplane, but it can’t be! Well, whoever he is, he’s in big trouble.

( Blue Missile leads Enforcer choppers on a chase, outmaneuvering them )

Callie: I better call the SWAT Kats. I need Razor, now!

SCENE END

( Klaxon blares )

Jake: It’s Callie! ( answers) Yes Ms. Briggs?

Callie: The Blue Missile’s plane just attacked the Mayor’s office, and shredded three Enforcer choppers.

Jake: (gasps) Oh no! Looks like the Blue Missile got covered in golden paint.

Callie: Maybe so, but he’s using live ammunition.

Jake: Just calm down, beautiful, And it looks like we’re on our way.

SCENE END

( Manx’s mobile rings )

Manx: Ah, that Callie, simply amazing. She’s finished my dedication speech already. I hope she remembered to put in that business about courage and bravery. Not to mention, honesty… ( unsuccessfully taps golf ball to hole with his foot after checking to make sure no one is looking )

Manx: Hello?

Callie: Mayor Manx, the Blue Missile’s plane shot up your office!

Manx: You’ll have to speak up Callie, I can’t hear you– ( gasp )

Blue Missile: ( laughs )

Manx: What do you want with me, don’t you know who he is?

Blue Missile: I know  just  who you are, and I’ve waited a long time for this, Missile! ( laughs )

T-Bone: That darn guy might doesn’t want to see Manx reelected. What are we gonna do, hotshot?

Razor: Time to give this Blue Missile imitator the tall veto, T-Bone.

T-Bone: You bet. Time to go for a swift in a southwest! (maximum thrusts)

Razor: Did you see those moves? That guy really is the Blue Missile! Could any seen! Ha! And I’ve studied every one of the Blue Missile’s moves.

T-Bone: Wait a moment, How come you study his disappearing act? And you’ve lost him on radar.

Blue Missile: ( via radio ) It’s not over yet, Manx! ( laughter )

Manx: ( terrified gibberish )

SCENE END

Manx: If only his great granddad hadn’t shot down the Blue Missile. Now that evil shiny golden man is after me!

Razor: The Red Missile was a hero, Mayor.

Manx: Yes, well I’m not! I’m a politician! Callie, cancel today’s dedication to the Red Missile weapon in a Jet.

Feral: There’s not need to worry, Mayor. My Enforcers can protect you from some old Mega War II gunner.

Manx: Yes, of course… but will you SWAT Kats be there?

Razor: Huh?

SWAT Kats: ( both nod )

Manx: Very well then, I shall go.

Callie: Guess you do have some of the courage and bravery of the Red Missile, Mayor.

Manx: Yes, well, it’s all in the genes, and I owe it all to his great granddad. And besides, it’s probably bad to cancel a public apperance this close to election day.

Razor: (gasp)

SWAT Kats: ( both nod, seemingly amused )

SCENE END

Dr. Sinian: How the Blue Missile came back to life is a mystery to me, Callie. It’s positively supernatural. Maybe his hatred for the Red Missile never got turned into a solid statue even though his body did.

Callie: Great, how do we break a golden solid statue?

Dr. Sinian: I don’t have an answer for that one yet. I’ll keep checking and let you know as soon as I find something.

Callie: I just hope it’s not too late for Mayor Manx.

SCENE END

Manx: His Great Grandfather was one of the greatest gunners of Mega War II, but I wish he could have flown this brand new Enforcer jet that does everything but vote. (laughs) Laugh it up!

Callie: Where are those SWAT Kats?

Feral: Who needs  them, Deputy Mayor? My Enforcers can handle anything, and that new jet is going to make the SWAT Kats obsolete.

Manx: There’s a long tradition of courage and bravery in the Clawson family, which is why-(gasps as biplane flies into view)

Feral: Choppers, intercept!

Manx: Sorry! Women and mayors first! ( rushes past Callie and knocks Feral into the water )

Blue Missile: ( laughs ) This Missile isn’t even a worthy opponent!

Razor: Razor and the Blue Missile, face to face, and he blinked! Just gotta love this man’s moves, T-Bone.

T-Bone: This solid-like dead guy is some shooter.

Razor: However I’ve been telling you that for years, buddy. I never missed the Red Missile. (chuckles)

T-Bone: Got him!

Razor: Looks like you missed, T-bone the sure-shot.

T-Bone: Uh oh. Too late!

Razor: Launching torch arrows. Activate!

T-Bone: Bullseye!

Blue Missile: I don't even think so, Ace gunner. Deploying those claw missiles.

Razor: What?! this guy’s on the edge!

T-Bone: Something tells me that we don’t already know.

Razor: Let's see if you can clip these airborne arrow of the wings, T-Bone.

T-Bone: Roger. Time to go for a speed.

Blue Missile: Fools! You can’t stop me! ( crashes into the bay )

Razor: The effortless bronze gunner was good, On second thought, I'm Razor, the number one.

T-Bone: Hey, you also had a maximum thruster with the old cyclotron.

Razor: It’s a pilot with a high-tech edge, T-Bone. So don't act silliness.

T-Bone: Would you be better promise not to watch that old tape again when I agree with you? I'm too scared and I have a headache.

Manx: Well, it’s all over folks. The SWAT Kats have taken care of things. Now where was I? Ah yes. There’s a long tradition of bravery and courage in the Clawson family, which is why I’m proud to christen this weapons system operator in a new jet, the Red Missile in honor of his great grandfather.

Blue Missile: ( deep underwater ) Misssileeee…

SCENE END

Feral: ( pats the Red Missile Jet ) A pity you didn’t have a chance to show up those SWAT Kats today but you will. Guard it well.

Enforcer Commandos: Yes sir!

Enforcer Commando #2: What is it? ( seeing bubbling in the water )

Blue Missile: ( laughs and takes off in the Red Missile Jet )

Enforcer Commando #1: Hey!

Enforcer Commando #2: Get away from there!

Blue Missile: And now Missile, you will join me in the whole solid! (laughs)

SCENE END

Commander Feral:  What ?! How could you let a multi-billion dollar jet get hijacked? I want it found  now ! ( slams car phone down /)

SCENE END

Manx: Mmmm, have I mentioned I’m running for re-election? ( eating a hot dog ) Good to see you, cute baby. Can I buy you lunch? Here, take a button! No need to thank me.

Callie: ( to repairman ) Thanks for fixing the window. Now I have a perfect view of Mayor Manx working the voters. And Mr. Clawson could think about it.

( phone rings )

Callie: Mayor’s office, Deputy Mayor Briggs speaking.

Robert Clawson: Callie listen. I think I found out how to destroy the bronze gunner. He's my son and he's good at being a gunner. I just hope I will bring a golden trophy for my son.

Callie: Thanks anyway, Mr. Clawson. But the SWAT Kats have already taken care of him. Now all I have to worry about is the Mayor’s next speech– ( gasp )

( The Blue Missile attacks the Mayor’s office again, shooting up a cardboard cutout of Manx )

Callie: On second thought, how  do  you kill a bronze statue? ( screams as the bullet-riddled Manx cutout falls down in front of her )

Robert Clawson: ( in disbelief ) The Blue Missile! In the Red Missile!

SCENE END

Razor: I've always want to be sorry to see the Blue Missile go down.

Callie: SWAT Kats! The Blue Missile is back and he’s flying the Red Missile Jet!

Razor: We’re on our way!

Callie: I’m going to go get the Mayor! According to Mr. Clawson the only way to stop the Blue Missile is for a relative of the Red Missile to shoot him down.

Razor: (gasp) Father?

Blue Missile: ( laughs while shooting down several Enforcer choppers )

Computer Voice: Locking on target now.

Blue Missile: ( laughs ) This is almost too easy!

( The Turbokat comes into view )

Blue Missile: You’ll have to do better this time!

Razor: Can you get a maximum thrust on this guy, T-Bone?

T-Bone: Hold it! (thrusts)

Computer Voice: Warning. Enemy maximum thrusters. Institute anti-maximum thrusters.

Callie: Mayor Manx? Mayor Manx! Wait (jumps into speeding limousine that Manx has commandeered)

Manx: That solid guy means to kill me, Callie!

Yes, and you’re the only one that can stop him.

Me? Then we’re doomed! Doomed I tell you!

Robert Clawson: Relax, Mayor! I know that me and my son can!

Manx: Oh.

Blue Missile: ( laughs ) Missile is mine!

Razor: And I'm not giving up with my father now!

Blue Missile:  Mine’s  already been solid! ( laughs )

Razor: (gasp) Crud! He's gone!

Callie: Better let me drive Mayor. I know just where to find you something to fight back with.

T-Bone: So long, Blue Missile!

Razor: What’s Callie doing? She and Manx are landed on their feet down there! Crud!

T-Bone: Even your father really is the only one who can bring down the Blue Missile.

Callie: It’s up to you now, Mr. Clawson ( shoving Missile into the aircraft carrier’s artillery turret )

Blue Missile: It’s just you and me now, Missile!

Robert Clawson: Never!

T-Bone: Missile blew it!

Razor: Now how can he thrust against the Blue Missile?

T-Bone: With our help! ( thrust ) Ready to try again, sir?

Robert Clawson: You've got it!

Blue Missile: ( knocks down the Turbokat ) You were no match for the Blue Missile!

T-Bone: Now sir! Thrust up up, and away!

( Robert presses button to fire but misses )

Blue Missile: Nice try Missile guy!

Razor: You must be getting more effortless, Missile! Falling for one of your own tricks!

T-Bone: Take your best shot, sir! Or you’ll never win!

( Missile bolsters his courage and fire again, shooting the Blue Missile down )

Jake: And T-Bone could say, gotcha!

Manx: Is he g-gone?

Callie: He’s history.

Robert Clawson: Did he win? Where's my son anyway?

Jake: Here I am, father.

Robert Clawson: Jake! I'm so glad that you won the Mega War II. Congratulations, my son.

Jake: Thanks, father. Hey, you dressed up as your great grandfather, Red Missile.

Robert Clawson: Me. (laugh) Sure I did. You are my winner and you are my best ace gunner in Megakat City. (hugs Jake happily)

Callie: And here's your trophy that you shot down to the Blue Missile.

Jake: Why, thank you.

Callie: (kisses Jake's cheek)

T-Bone: Did he find his father to graduate, Mayor?

Manx: Oh, yes. It’s all in the genes. T-Bone is my boy. After all, He's the great grandson of the Red Missile, and I hope to have your vote on election day. You are registered, aren’t you? ( pings a large button on T-Bone, and squeeze on him )

T-Bone: What?! Ow! Oh no!

CREDITS ROLL